The frozen park

We went for a walk, me and George, to the park in the bitter frost. It was beautiful. I haven't been there for a long time through being so ill but it felt like another little badge to pin on to say look at me - I'm really getting better. 

I don't think I ever said, though I wrote a post about this a while ago. I deleted it as it seemed like a bit of a bore. My thyroid stopped working is the thing, now I take a lot of thyroxine and will almost certainly have to for the rest of my life nut the upshot is, I am feeling alive again once more. I'm still a little anaemic and my immune system will take a while to work properly again, hence cough, cold, tonsillitis ad nauseum, but it's all getting so much better, please please don't let me have jinxed it by saying that.

 

The boys

Jasper 

  Boo

Monday

Had a really positive session with my counsellor today and last week will be our final session of this tranche. As before I have the strangest feeling of thinking how much i'm going to miss seeing her; it's an odd situation really as it is of course a professional arrangement under which we meet and yet it is almost impossible not think of her as a friend. 

I took this on the way home from the centre - it is the door to the strange bookshop opposite Patmos which is never open. The window dispay looks so faded and old, I wonder if it has been touched in years, in fact I wonder if this shop has been touched in years. What is the story behind the door? Will I ever find out.

Decorations

Hunt for the snark...I mean tree

Our local Garden Centre Gordon Rigg is a Christmas institution...we buy our tree, we visit the donkeys, we look at the lights and we buy one or two decorations to add to the collection. We get our holly wreath for the door and I choose a big bunch of greenery for behind the picture frames. This year George is old enough to take it all in and loves it...squeaking and babbling at the trees, the lights and the donkeys...the look of wonder on his face makes it all magical again. That cliche about Christmas being for the children...I never bought it until now, but his amazement at it all yesterday took my breath away.

Little man

Memoriam

Remembering the inimitable Mrs P 

Dearest Janette

 Mum to my oldest friend Ellie

 and my surrogate Mum,

who lost her fight to cancer a year ago today

Here she is at the golden wedding celebration for her and Richard just over three months earlier. I am very pregnant with George in this photograph, how I wish she had been able to meet him.and hold him, though I am at least thankful she saw his photograph and knew he had been born and that we were both safe and healthy.

It snowed today - the first of the season here, she must almost have sent it the way it danced and twirled by the window, just like her with her ballet.

Spotty Muldoon

Here I sacrifice all vanity for the good of humanity - or - look at my penicillin allergy

Friday Morning, and this morning...

Friday morning and this morning... 

Well, we had a really good night here - George slept right through with just one tiny cough and he just turned over and went back to sleep. Brilliant little boy. I got up a few times for the loo and to put some cream on and made sure his new stripey duvet was all snuggly and over him. 

When I woke up the spots were no better, and certainly more of them but it looks like they've come to fruition. I put camomile on my hands and put some gloves on for a while but the gloves were irritating so I ended up washing it all off. We opened our advent calender - or rather Jon did,  a lovely pop up one by Eric Carle of The Hungry Caterpillar fame. We also played Jona Lewis for George and Jon danced about during the tiddlyiddlepompom bit...George bounced and clapped. Then the post arrived and Jon opened it - I tried and nearly wept as my hands touched the envelopes...the spots on my fingers are so painful. We got our first Christmas card from Uncle Ken. I wonder how he is doing without Stella. 

I got up then and then sat back down rather swiftly, I haven't taken photos of my feet as the spots are rather hard to see, but they cover the soles of my feet and there are some on my toes. The sole spots make walking  very painful - like lots of tiny pieces of glass under the skin. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. 

Jon told me I wasn't moving from bed and so the boys went downstairs. Later Jon brought me up a lovely breakfast of bacon muffin and a mug of tea then I took another raft of tablets and had a big sleep - sleeping is the only comfortable thing. It means I'm not itching and cannot scratch.

My lovely boys cheering me up...and yes, George is using half an orange as a phone!?...he thinks that EVERYTHING is a phone...

Allergic

So, after 34 years of taking penicillin I woke up to this...

These things all over my fingers, chin, inside my mouth and on the soles of my feet...
they are very very itchy and painful...

Do you ever get the feeling I am doomed???

Reading

Hello Daddy

And the band played on....

We went to a very wet Valley of Light evening and almost drowned

Dad

Remembering my wonderful Dad, who I lost seventeen years ago today. 

This poem was read at his funeral...


Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.