I've been really rather struggling of late, certainly for the last month but probably since Autumn of last year. I've just not felt quite right and not known why. As with most vague feelings or symptoms we tend to dismiss them and put them down to time of year, or age or in my case anxiety and depression. The last month has brought things into a sharper perspective and I now believe I am either perimenopausal or beginning an early menopause. My Mum went through hers aged 41 so it has always been at the back of my mind that it might happen to me, but when i started having what felt like morning sickness i didn't immediately put two and two together. Having been to the doctors and had a whole fleet of blood tests, i'm actually pretty healthy all round, nothing big and bad sat there like diabetes and my liver and kidneys are all fine. I do have anaemia, which doesn't surprise me due to how heavy my periods have been (again, another hint towards changes) but as nothing else came back I was given lansoprazole for the nausea and it hasn't helped. It does come and go and it isnt constant, exactly as I mentioned, like morning sickness. When my period went missing a month ago bells finally began to ring and I started looking into hormonal changes, the more i read the more it made sense. My sister in law recommended menopause matters and in a matter of minutes i'd read countless forum posts expressing exactly how i was feeling...oh hell. I actually had a bit of a cry then. It's a big thing, finally realising that this is it. It's an even bigger thing reading that unfortunately the menopause is a really badly understood area of medicine and so many people out there aren't getting the help and support they need....and selfishly, am i going to be one of them? From there i've been reading, researching, learning, making notes...tomorrow i have an appointment with the nurse already booked and am going to try and get one with a doctor, and i'm going to take with me an armful of notes and questions and thoughts. I hope that when i next come to write here I might at least have the beginnings of some treatment.
This is my favourite photo of George and Bella.
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